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  • Writer's pictureDrSwae

Each One Has Its Strengths - written 2020

Hi there my friend. I hope you are doing your best to be healthy and be well, wherever you are.

Things in the world have been in such upheaval. It feels good to connect.

My oldest had a "salt map" of Kingman Reef due today, part of his ongoing geography piece on the area. See the recipe below.



He got really intrigued by the research sites (see key on right, white speckling).

I think he could imagine a grown up version of himself navigating those wide open and wild waters. Aah! It's happening too fast!

These boys, each with their own strengths, each with their own needs.

My middle guy worked on his clocks and math skills. My other one just tried to wrestle everyone and anyone who would take him up on the offer (demand!).


That and intermittently he would stop and admire these beautiful sprouts that continue to grow. It's only been a few days snd they are now huge, like their forestry boy!

The baby just wandered and wondered.

I ask myself all the time what I could do to make parenting such an age gap a strength rather than a handicap But sometimes, I get a bit discouraged. Each age is so different and requires such different skill sets.

Scott and I used to use a "divide and conquer" approach, but nowadays even that is impractical. And sometimes it seems that one of us ends up with the heavier load. Then I disavow that plan for the "foreseeable future" or at least until the next day when Scott might make it home relatively early.

Let it be known, I am not complaining at all. These boys are my life. I am lucky to have them. But it is hard to suss out the the best way to parent when the kids are all so similar but so different at the same time.

Each one has concerns unique to him, unique to his age group. And they want to be seen as an individual. But sometimes, being part of a pack can be tough.

We get to these crossroads from time to time and I never know if I should force everyone down one path for the sake of the group, or whether I should let them wander a bit for their own sake (which is really ultimately at the expense of my sanity).

Sometimes it's good for them.

And they deserve a little good. What do you think?

xo, Dr. Swae


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