We love costumes, forts and hiding places in our family.
The process of getting to pretend to be someone or something else or temporarily shed our own experience is so incredibly compelling. I find this is especially true for a kid who is just figuring out where he might fit best in the world.
I also love it because it keeps things lighthearted when life puts on the dimmer.
I mean, how can you keep a straight face when sending Yoda to his room?
These things are reminders that experiences are temporary. Being transient, we can handle them all, as they make life more rich and complex.
If this is the case, what is my excuse for telling my boy not to say he had a bad day?! I’m kicking myself for doing it, and I resolve to think a bit more next time before opening my Ms. Fix-It mouth.
He is inherently such a glass half full person that I found myself so surprised to hear of his displeasure. Instead of asking him what would make him say it, I jumped in to try to cheer him up.
”You got to play with your brothers.”
”You got to be outside.”
”We had your favorites for both lunch and dinner.”
My litany of reasons went on and on.
And truly I HAD my reasons. I wanted to remind him of all the good things he has. I wanted him to feel grateful.
But I didn’t stop to think about how you can be mad and grateful at the same time. And maybe being one makes you more of the other. When you have a bad day, you’re more grateful for the good. Just as important, when most of the time you feel that things are wonderful, when the bad days creep in, you should feel even more free to say out loud, “This was the pits!”.
Tomorrow I’m going to march right up to him as soon as he wakes up and (after I give him a big squeeze) I am going to ask how he is feeling and what made tonight so unpleasant.
Maybe I’ll learn something too.
Hoping I get to see some more of you all in good days and in bad- one good/bad day soon.
xo,
Dr Swae